On This Saturday

...I got up at 6:00am. Why? I guess in part because I am old and set in my routine. I wanted to sleep, but I was awake. I've made coffee and had breakfast and the kids are all still sleeping at just after 8:00am.

I'm sitting here thinking about what I want to do today. Of course, there are "have to do" things such as meals and laundry. Thankfully the grocery shopping is done and bills are paid (Thank you, Lord!). I hate spending my weekend doing those things.

I could also work in the garage. I could clean up the extra room. I could deal with paperwork.

But what I think I want to do is work in the youngest child's bedroom. We've had every imaginable room arrangement over the years. Currently, all the girls have their own rooms. Second born talked us into giving her the front room that has, over the years, been a homeschool room, an office (I believe it's intended purpose), and a play room. It doesn't have a door. We hung some beautiful curtains and she has her own space. It's small, but temporary. One day the oldest will move out and then the remaining girls can each have a proper bedroom. For now, second born is just happy not to be sharing with little sister. So we moved all the toys to little sister's room. She's the only one who still really plays so it makes sense. But when the older two were growing up I never liked having toys in the bedrooms. Bedrooms are hard enough to keep clean without adding toys.

The youngest and I made supper the other night. Hopefully, today's task will involve fewer knives.

So today I believe I will channel my younger mom self and get in there and organize. I used to make picture labels for the girls and put them on the toy containers. Then I would label the shelf where they belonged. There was no reason for them to not know where things went. I believe the youngest doesn't know how to clean her room because so many things do not have a place.

Also, there are many things that need to leave the house.

We watched a few Marie Kondo episodes last week and of her own accord, the youngest brought about 10 things out of her room and told me to get rid of them or sell them. This is huge, people!

But I've got to get her room under control. She has 137 baby dolls (maybe that's just a ballpark figure but it feels true) and they need a home.

A home where there is still room for the real human who lives in the room to sleep, get dressed, and play. Is that asking too much?

And also, I need to take some photos of items to sell in my eBay store. Last month, Steve and I listed a few items and with the money we earned I paid for this semester of co-op and will soon pay for our spring break camp we go to each year.

So, my eBay store needs some more stock and I have lots of it waiting in the garage.

Now that I've made my plan-of-the-day with you, I'll come back later and let you know how it all worked out.

Should be good for a laugh or two.

Signing off,

Interrupted

Our regular weekly blogging was interrupted this week by Tonsillitis. I'm not sure any of my kids have ever had this, although Steve and I remember getting it all the time growing up. Boy her throat looks ugly.

So I'm spending some time taking care of a little girl, which is more important than blogging anyway.

Hope to see you soon!

Signing off,

Friday Favorites

I used to blog a long, long time ago. Please enjoy this old post!

We have a queen size bed. That should be plenty of space for two people. 

And it would be, if we slept like this:

But we don't. We both like to sleep kind half on our stomach and half on our side with one leg hiked up. 

Which works fine when we face opposite sides:

But not so well when we face each other. 

The strategy is to be the first one to face the inside of the bed. Then you can get your leg hiked up first and the other person will have to adjust. Kind of like the armrest at the movies. 

It's better than when we were newlyweds. We bought a double sized mattress for $99 from a little furniture store. A "double" mattress is slightly bigger than a twin. Even though we were thin back then, this is what sleeping was like: 

No kidding we had to turn in unison. 

I dream of one day having a king sized bed. This is what I think it will be like:

But this is probably more accurate:

Oh well. I'm not complaining. This is how Steve thinks we sleep:

But he doesn't have any proof.

Signing off, 

Driven and Divided

Driven. That's a word I would use to describe my husband. That hasn't always been true. I've known him all our lives. We've been married for 25 years. But the last 6 years...possibly longer but definitely the last 3 or 4, have found my husband being very focused on his dreams.

He is a visionary--the type of man who sees the big picture and sees things for how they can be--not just how they currently are.

This really doesn't describe me, however. I'm not sure how to describe me. Since our oldest child graduated in May, I have felt very different. Our homeschool is obviously very different. Instead of having 3 students, I now only have 2 again. And it isn't anything like it used to be when I had two students. Our life is just very different.

And I'm more tired. I love homeschooling and I have enjoyed it so much. But now when I think about the tasks ahead, they don't seem that challenging. I don't have to expend quite as much energy on things because we are, in some ways, on auto-pilot in the homeschooling life. I'm working myself out of a job here, people.

Also, I have so much more help these days. Two of my children are teens/young adults. Only one of them I would still consider "little" and I'm not the only pair of hands around to help with her. Instead of everyone being little or everyone being big--they are both. I have some of each. We don't have little kid movies on all the time, because the big kids want to watch things.

But I also just don't feel as motivated as I once did. I think it used to seem like I was going to be a Mommy forever and also that they were growing up too fast all at the same time. I remember planning sewing projects for them and delighting in making quilts for them, painting things for them...I was forever coming up with some project for them to enjoy.

But with my youngest daughter it just feels different. Maybe she's not as easily impressed as they were (That is partly true) and so it's not as fun to come up with surprises for her. Maybe it's because she's the only little. Maybe I'm tired and burned out.

Maybe it's that instead of being all-immersed in being a Mom, I'm starting to dream about what I will do "one day." That day seemed forever far away a few years ago. Graduating that first child really made me realize that one day I WILL be through with them. At least in the hands-on, I'm fully responsible for you type way.

I've been working on writing a book. The motivation, when I started, was money, plain and simple. We need income. I started writing. I would very much love to be a published author. It has always been a dream of mine. But now I'm starting to see that it could happen. "One day" doesn't seem as far off.

But this makes me sad as well. I want to spend time making things for my little girl while she's still little. I want to enjoy reading to my girls as long as I can. Do I really want my "spare" time taken up with selfish dreams of my own? I used to be all-Mom-all-the-time. Now I feel like I'm cheating on that. I'm divided.

I don't know if that makes any sense.

Joining in on husband's dreams and plans divides me. Am I being the best Mom I can be? Am I being a good wife?

Am I having a mid-life crisis? 😉

I just feel that I have a lot of things going on at any one time. I don't feel like I'm just raising little girls anymore.

And I kind of miss those old days.

Signing off,