Looking Ahead

Back in October I realized we had SO many activities and exciting events coming up on our calendar, that we needed a visual. We keep a calendar of the current month up in our dining room with important events on it. We also use our calendars on our computers and the four oldest people in our family are all linked up to the calendar so they can always check what's going on when.

But the visual I decided to make was a paper chain. For the remaining days of October, I used orange and black construction paper. For events in November, I used brown and orange. And for December, I did a pattern in red, green, and white. I ended the chain on Christmas day and when we first hung it up, it stretched across and around part of our dining room.

The girls have taken turns tearing a chain link off each evening. They can't believe how short the chain has gotten already. It has really helped with a visual of "How much longer until....." questions.

This month the main things we have are of course Christmas....and we have a house guest coming next week. Towards that end, we have been cleaning a lot lately. Our regular cleaning is not enough when you have someone coming to stay and not just over for a few hours.

And the Christmas shopping has begun in earnest. I'm taking my mom this afternoon to get a few things as well. I'm also working on Christmas cards, which need to be mailed out soon.

This month we are also doing a lot of planning. We have wrapped up the first "season" of our podcast. Now we just need to plan for next year's episodes. Also, husband is thinking ahead to what he will preach about next year. And we are making plans for our finances in 2019 and what we can do to help out in that area.

It doesn't matter what you are planning though---a fun event like a camping trip, or how to improve your life in the new year--those plans all need to be prayed over. Honoring God with our plans is the most important thing.

This fall is passing so quickly!

I don't believe that I can pray, "God, should I...?" and He will answer me. That is not how God operates today. (See Hebrews 1:1-2). But I DO believe that God will give us wisdom if we ask for it in faith. (See James 1:5-6). I also believe scripture addresses many things that we can apply to our own lives with common sense.

And that is the really important thing in all of this. We may plan, and prepare, and work hard on our future. We may fill our calendar up with events both fun and important. But if we are not seeking the Lord's guidance, our plans are in vain.

What are you preparing for?

Signing off,

Driven and Divided

Driven. That's a word I would use to describe my husband. That hasn't always been true. I've known him all our lives. We've been married for 25 years. But the last 6 years...possibly longer but definitely the last 3 or 4, have found my husband being very focused on his dreams.

He is a visionary--the type of man who sees the big picture and sees things for how they can be--not just how they currently are.

This really doesn't describe me, however. I'm not sure how to describe me. Since our oldest child graduated in May, I have felt very different. Our homeschool is obviously very different. Instead of having 3 students, I now only have 2 again. And it isn't anything like it used to be when I had two students. Our life is just very different.

And I'm more tired. I love homeschooling and I have enjoyed it so much. But now when I think about the tasks ahead, they don't seem that challenging. I don't have to expend quite as much energy on things because we are, in some ways, on auto-pilot in the homeschooling life. I'm working myself out of a job here, people.

Also, I have so much more help these days. Two of my children are teens/young adults. Only one of them I would still consider "little" and I'm not the only pair of hands around to help with her. Instead of everyone being little or everyone being big--they are both. I have some of each. We don't have little kid movies on all the time, because the big kids want to watch things.

But I also just don't feel as motivated as I once did. I think it used to seem like I was going to be a Mommy forever and also that they were growing up too fast all at the same time. I remember planning sewing projects for them and delighting in making quilts for them, painting things for them...I was forever coming up with some project for them to enjoy.

But with my youngest daughter it just feels different. Maybe she's not as easily impressed as they were (That is partly true) and so it's not as fun to come up with surprises for her. Maybe it's because she's the only little. Maybe I'm tired and burned out.

Maybe it's that instead of being all-immersed in being a Mom, I'm starting to dream about what I will do "one day." That day seemed forever far away a few years ago. Graduating that first child really made me realize that one day I WILL be through with them. At least in the hands-on, I'm fully responsible for you type way.

I've been working on writing a book. The motivation, when I started, was money, plain and simple. We need income. I started writing. I would very much love to be a published author. It has always been a dream of mine. But now I'm starting to see that it could happen. "One day" doesn't seem as far off.

But this makes me sad as well. I want to spend time making things for my little girl while she's still little. I want to enjoy reading to my girls as long as I can. Do I really want my "spare" time taken up with selfish dreams of my own? I used to be all-Mom-all-the-time. Now I feel like I'm cheating on that. I'm divided.

I don't know if that makes any sense.

Joining in on husband's dreams and plans divides me. Am I being the best Mom I can be? Am I being a good wife?

Am I having a mid-life crisis? 😉

I just feel that I have a lot of things going on at any one time. I don't feel like I'm just raising little girls anymore.

And I kind of miss those old days.

Signing off,

Chapters

We started off our Geography study this year by panning out. We made those little books (I've seen lots of versions) where you start with a picture of the child's house. Then you have them draw their street, then their city, then their county......all the way to their planet. You get the drift. It's a way of showing where they are on the map in the grand scheme of things.

So my children requested to watch this video which we have seen several times before.

All of this got me to thinking deep thoughts while I was cleaning up the kitchen cabinets just now. Our oldest daughter just graduated high school in May. This summer she got to go on two very special trips. Yesterday, she purchased scrapbook materials so she can put all the pictures from her trips inside. She's about to embark on a very different part of life: work and college. I was thinking how glad I was that she got to go on those trips.

But what if those trips are not the end of her fun teenage summer days....but rather the beginning of her young adult life, which could be filled with all kinds of adventures?

I realized that the chapters of her life are getting broader. When we first brought her home from the hospital, I was concerned with what she did on MONDAY. And then TUESDAY. We were getting by hour by hour and cherishing every minute.

As she grew, we thought of her chapters as "infancy", "toddlerhood," "the preschool years", etc.

But now, I feel a dividing mark between her "childhood" and her "young adulthood." Her chapters are long and thick and wordy.

And all those things you worried endlessly about in their younger years are simply dots on the page now. You would be hard-pressed to flip back and find some of the things that once were concerns.

So even though we are very perplexed about this new chapter which we have never been through before, if I have learned anything from her life--it's that at the end of this one, Lord willing, there will be a wonderful new chapter waiting to be written.

And I can't wait to see it play out.

Signing off,